I FUCKED UP . BIG TIME.
Gonna disappear from here for quite some time. I got zero desire to blog and most of all I just don't want to fill my blog with swears and the F words everywhere. Life's been hard these few days and I just don't have a clue of what is really happening to me. I started to believe superstitious shits like the bad lucks are coming from my chinese age and all other shits. Silly huh. Yeah. But that's just what you do when you are so out of control of your own life.
I just need an answer. WTH is actually happening. WTH is wrong with life nowadays. WTH wrong with me. Nothing feels alright. A week ago I was still a happy girl thinking how lucky I am to be me. Now I just want to hide myself from everybody else cause I'm just tired of faking my smile. Tired of holding tears when people is around. And I'm so tired of trying to dig up a little bit of bright side from those shitty things that has been happening to me.
Most of all I just can't forgive myself of letting shits to happen. Even when everybody else tell me that it is alright, I just can't let go. It's too hard. My head is full of regrets. Problems keep coming while the first problem is still there. I just want to disappear.
Dear you, I'm so very sorry, I don't know how many times I've said that I'm sorry and I know it irritates you so much. But I'm just so so sorry. Thankyou for being so patient listening to my complaints and swears. Thankyou for being so understanding. Thankyou for being the only one who can make me sincerely smile these days. And again, sorry :'(
Bye. See you when I finally found my way out or when I just need some place to tell shits to.
|wait, I just realize that our clothes match each other :DD|
Who doesn't love surprises? definitely not me :b
Feel so blessed :) My 18th was AWESOMEEEE
Nothing's best than spending birthday with people you love the most. thanks for being in my life.
Well, I start to feel like a ball now. Those heavenly cakes keep calling my name each hour. But hey, it only happens once a year,
so who bloody cares? \m/ actually I do care. DIET STARTS TOMORROW !
November wish : .Everything goes well as planned.A little time pampering myself.and again, more time.